I remember sitting watching a really irritating tv program when Bert was young, one of the songs "Time flies when your having fun" has done far too good a job of sticking in my head, it pops out at inappropriate moments and ambushes my consciousness. Once again its too long since I tried to organize my thoughts onto a page. Amy and Theo are upstairs pretending to be going to sleep and making enough noise to wake the dead. Bert is out with her boyfriend (yes you did read it right) and his parents at the cinema.
We finally saw a geneticist recently, she confirmed the suspected diagnosis of Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, for that one moment sat there as she talked us through everything, I wanted to cry, I wanted to curl up into a ball and make the world dissapear, then I looked at my wonderful children and realized crying would do no good at all. So now as mummy protector of the realm, chief in charge of "there there" and kissing things better, I am fighting my way through mountains of information, looking for a way to make the pain go away for my Bert, almost 16 but still my baby.
Bert is waiting for her 2nd GCSE result, which she gets the day before my birthday,I hope for her sake she has done well, but regardless of grade I am the proudest mummy alive, for every day she puts me to shame, every time she fights through a wall of pain and anxiety which threaten to overshadow her sweet gentle nature. She cares for her brother and sister on the days I have to work, making life as fun and magical for them as I would if I could be there. We have just returned from our annual jolly to Cornwall, where each day Amy and Theo got to be secret agents, searching for clues and finding missing agents, each day getting a reward which could be anything ranging from a teddy bear or a yo-yo to a midnight feast. All of this made possible thanks to weeks of preparation by a big sister who could not love her siblings more.
The development of a boyfriend has been an amusing one, Jack is a gentle giant who protects and loves my baby so much that I find myself thinking every girl should have a Jack for her first boyfriend. Jack has taught Amy and Theo to climb tree's, he has helped Bert look after them when I was busy, he now openly acknowledges that the girl of his dreams came at the price of a new brother and sister.
Life is a rollercoaster atm, were a lot of the time the bad seems to be overshadowing the good. But as I have always done, I look for a positive in every day, the freezer defrosting and spoiling all the food inside whilst we were away has given me the opportunity to clean it out. Taking on more hours at work means I no longer have to work nights.
Amy is about to start her final year of primary school, and I watch with masked amusement as she tuns everyday into some fragile looking beauty, with her waist length hair, and bright blue eyes, my amusement is fuelled by our constant battle to convince her to wear appropriate underwear, or sit like a young lady. Even though she is going to a reasonably large secondary school I still find myself thinking they won't know what happened when hurricane mouse gets there, I just hope they are not waiting for another Beth!.
Well I start work at 7.30 so I best sleep, anyone reading this, have a good evening, and keep smiling.....
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