Friday, 8 July 2011

Faeries at the bottom of the garden....

Ok...... bare with me on this one, random thoughts splurging out.

When you sit back and look at the world, it seems so very grey, as an adult its about work, and earning the money to exist. Its about making sure everyone has everything they need on a day to day basis materialistically, but as a parent when do we stop to ensure our children have the things in life that don't cost anything?. We give them love, unconditional and unending but who gives them their right to be children?.
Theirs is an existence of blank pages waiting to be doodled on, written in languages only understood by other children, of whispered words, and shared secrets, harmless secrets with so much meaning to no one but the owner. I have many fond memories of planting seeds with my Grandad Jim, a man who always seemed so very tall, and magician like to a young me. We would plant seeds, and he would mark their places with plastic flowers, so that the child would be in awe of flowers grown overnight. The simplest magic, but enough to fill a young heart, and create memories that will live as long as nature allows.
When I watch Amy and Theo play together, theirs truly is a world of amazing transforming cars, faerie princesses, Hero's and heroines, dragons and monsters, and I love it. It is a world which will stay with them in the way that my childhood memories do, it will create unbreakable bonds between them.
At the rear of my house, there is a metal archway leading into the garden, hanging from it are some windchimes, when the wind blows, you can hear the gentlest tinkling noise in the childrens bedrooms, Amy likes to think of it as angels and faeries giggling as they play among the flowers, and what right do I have to tell her she is wrong?  Next time a child asks you if this world exists, remember we live in a society rife with "monsters" and bad people, we study other worlds, and ask our children to believe in the possibility of life existing on them, and yet we so eagerly tell them that magic, unicorns and other mystical creatures cannot possibly be. I personally see no harm at all in shielding my children, allowing them to take their time to grow up, allowing their world to grow with them at a pace they are happy with.
Do Faeries exist? Was Peter Pan based purely on one mans imagination? who knows, but whenever I hear a tinkling bell on the wind, it makes me smile inside.

Whilst I agree that it is very important to give children a safe and secure grounding to life, it is also true that childhood is over far too soon.

Thursday, 7 July 2011


Camp was awesome!!!

A really fun way to spend the weekend, shame about the bronchitis. Returned from camp feeling tired, but thats not unusual, the ensuing chest pain and breathlessness were not fun.
Just sat and watched Jeremy Kyle, because that always makes me feel normal by comparison to the people on there, sad I know, but it helps.
Tonight I get the pleasure of the school disco with Amy and Theo, watching the entire school, which in fairness is less than 100 children, charge around the hall, dance with each other and generally try to impress is always an amusing way to spend the evening. It makes me think though, as part of the training we do at work, we read a poem called "What do you see?", if you haven't read it, its easy to google, but have tissues ready. It recounts an old ladies thoughts on the way her carers view her,and is an amazing insight into the world of a dementia sufferer. What it makes me think,  is this... the lives that we lose as we grow old, the memories that fade, and become transparent, are tragic. The simple things, my childrens disco's, first days at school, first boyfriend ( not for a long time yet please Beth;)), all these things mean the world, each deserves its place in history, its own marker on an indellible timeline.
So while I was sat watching Jezzer, thinking about how empty these peoples lives must be, it occured to me that mine is anything but empty. A struggle sometimes yes, plain sailing in the same way the titanic was maybe, but still amazing, and worth every second. So tonight while I am watching the girls compare outfits, and the boys skid around the floor, I will do everything I can to commit each moment to memory, in the hope that it remains fresh for a long time to come.

Enjoy your day, mark it well.

Friday, 1 July 2011

Guilty pleasures.....

Okay, I defy anyone to look at the closest person to them, and say with a staight face they do not have at least 1 guilty pleasure..... singing in the shower, dancing in the rain, licking the spoon and the bowl and then telling their children "aw really sorry, i have already washed up the cake stuff".

Mine ( well the public one at least) is that I am a cub leader... not so unusual most ppl might think but put it this way, I have only held this role for 6 months and I am heading at breakneck speed toward the latter half of my 30's. I seem to have aquired this role because Amy wanted to go to beavers, and I wanted to spend some time with the least "demanding" ( through no fault of their own) children. If I totalled up time spent watching Theo sleep, or helping Beth complete the tasks her joints prevent her from doing independantly, then the time I spend with Amy is less than 1% by comparison. She doesn't begrudge this, but I wanted to do something about it. So last year I duly borrowed a tent, and went on beaver parent camp, just me and Amy.... well needless to say I was pretty stunned at how much I enjoyed it, this combined with the "gentle" ahem persuasion of the other leaders about how much I would suit the green t-shirt that leaders wear......I have bright red hair!! what was I thinking????, and I end up here, preparing for beaver district camp. I have my green t-shirts with my pack name on them "Dizzie" which is apparently perfect for me.
Tonight will be a night of tired grumpy little people just getting to know what may be their first camping trip, and there will be us... the leaders in their green t-shirts...anyone else seeing a vision of a Butlins redcoat?? (aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargggggh), tryng to make sure everyones tent goes up ok, and that each little person is well entertained until that magical hour when they head to bed and we can become semi sane adults again.

Right back to the packing of rucksacks, but a thought for you.... next time you look at the person next to you, in a queue, on a bus, or even a work colleague, don't take them at face value, you never know what alter ego lurks beneath.

Have a good weekend all :)